Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We need to get me chipped asap
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
