I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We left an ass print on the piano.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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