FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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