Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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