Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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