shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
