It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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