yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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