He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
