I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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