and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
