I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
