there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
