Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
