wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize