There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
