Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
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But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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