Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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