I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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