We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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