Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
