You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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