U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
