Whod you bang
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I know her cup size but not her name....
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
