I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
