she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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