i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
