talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
