This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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