i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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