the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
