dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
