When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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