ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've blown a few things in my day
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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