My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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