I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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