God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize