I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We were destined to go to rehab together
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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