time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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