hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
