come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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