When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
