My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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