the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
