If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
