break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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