The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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