Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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