i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
