As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
