she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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