So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
