Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
operation harelip BJ is a go
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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