fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
