omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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