Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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