glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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