you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
