By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
