But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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