i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
