she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
