We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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